Self Care for Mama Bear [Part 1]

Most of you know me but I will give a little introduction to those that may not.

My name is Serena and I am "mommy" to Alexander (3 yrs) and Theodore (1 yr). I am learning the ropes of motherhood and taking it one day at time. I am a Registered Nurse that has had to recently scale down hours to care for my mom and the kiddos. I am mainly a stay-at-home-mom. I also help my husband run our Online Marketing company while working on building my own business. I recently learned some valuable lessons by taking quality time to make myself a stronger, better person for my family. I am passionate about helping other moms find time to work on 'self care' and doing those things that they enjoy.

So, how did I get to where I am at today?

Flashback to 28 year old me.

I know, I look thrilled. 

Crying in my bedroom. Sad and depressed. Unsure of why I am feeling so bad. I have an amazing husband, two perfectly healthy children, a roof over my head, food in my pantry, great family support, amazing friends... the 'Serena's life is awesome' list continues.

WHY IN THE HECK WAS I CRYING? 

I felt lost with no confidence.
When did I become so pathetic? When did I lose sight of my interests and personal hobbies? How did my eating habits spiral out of control to the point where I am gaining weight by just looking at food? Why was I getting sick? When was the last time I exercised?
And WHY am I sitting here crying when I have a family downstairs that needs me?
Then all of the "I used to's" come into play.  
I used to be so interesting. I used to dress cute. I used to have time to do my hair and make up. I used to have time to shower every day. I used to find and listen to new music. I used to go dancing every weekend which helped me stay slim. I used to have time to exercise. I used to have plenty of alone time to recharge and relax.  (Que all of the guilty feelings and emotions that go with feeling sorry for yourself & then blaming yourself)  
Wah wah wah.   I know, TOTAL First World Problems.  I just couldn't shake these toxic thoughts and I carried them around with me every day.

//   I realize I may be the only woman that has had these bad thoughts but I am secretly hoping I am not.  //
//  And if you can relate with my story, I'd love to chat over coffee [or wine] sometime. Ok?  // 

It started to affect my family. Andy was getting frustrated with me and he, like most men, would try and help me find ways to FIX my 'problem'.  I'd cry that my clothes didn't fit and I was so frustrated with my body and he would say "then do something about it".  

It sounds so easy when you put it that way. Do something about it. Of course. Yes...let me go 'do something about it'. Let me go strap my sneakers on and go for a run.  Let me go buy all of this organic food and whip up some Pinterest recipes. Let me get right on it.        OR NOT.

Months went by. A long winter went by before I decided I was depressed enough to finally suck it up and actually do something about it.

But what was I going to do.... ?  What was I going to try not to fail at this time? Where would I start?

How would Serena get her groove back?  [See what I did there?]

Stay tuned. More to be revealed tomorrow on my blog...